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Recently, I dined at Pianeta, my favorite Truckee, California restaurant. I sat at the bar and did what I usually do — pulled out my phone to check my emails and shoot text messages off to my friends. As I was beginning to get lost in the device in my hand, I noticed a message that Pianeta had placed on the back of its menu. The notice read, “Please stay present in our restaurant and refrain from using your phone”.
At first, I felt a little awkward as I was all alone, phone in hand, but I slipped it back into my purse. It didn’t take long before the guy next to me was sharing stories of his week, telling me what he and his wife had been through with their horses and livestock during the fires. The lady on the other side of me was chatting away about her friend being in town celebrating her divorce. At the end of the night, I felt like I knew everyone at the bar and numerous back stories from each person. I left filled with a warm feeling of connection and happiness experiencing true human connections.
The next day, intrigued, I researched the subject and found that cell phone etiquette is common in Europe and China. Some restaurants provide 20% OFF the entire check when you agree to refrain from using your phone at the table. Some even go as far as providing “cell phone jails” where everyone places their phone in the jail and the waiter locks them up for the duration of dinner. More and more restaurants are joining the trend with menus suggesting “Bring back the good ‘ol time and dine together.” “Dinner is better when eaten together.” The message is strong: “put the damn phone down.”
“Bring back the good ‘ol time and dine together.”
I find it so interesting when I go to a bar and see all these beautiful people sitting next to each other, pursuing their dating apps, scrolling for love, when it could be sitting right beside them–and they wouldn’t even know. I was dining by myself recently, when someone sent me dessert — I thought, wow, that is bold. Never had that happened before, maybe a drink, but dessert? It was classy, and I have no idea who sent it—the waitress said he wanted to remain anonymous. It made me think of the days when free drinks were sent from strangers and conversations were started; many relationships began at a bar or local restaurant — no app required.
In China, a McDonald’s in Singapore created a mini jail for cell phones, “Phone Off, Fun On!” Parents use the jail to lock up their phones during their playdate with their children. Nothing is more disturbing than seeing a table of toddlers on their parents’ phones while out to dinner.
The latest trend in Digital Detox is to take a period of time without using devices such as smartphones and computers. This detoxification has created the opportunity to reduce stress and focus on social integration in the physical world. This gives the mind time to reset and react in “real time.”
Does the thought of refraining from your digital device sound overwhelming? Here are five ways to get healthy with a digital detox, without unplugging completely:
- Stop using your phone when out to dinner with friends, family, or yourself.
- Turn off your phone at a certain time or put Focus on to give you a timeout.
- Turn off notifications.
- Stop giving your toddler your phone as a babysitter.
- Create no-phone areas.
Research shows that more singles are meeting in “real time.” When they get off the dating apps and can’t use it as a crutch, they must talk to the human next to them. Evidence shows there is a connection to a child’s social anxiety and cell phone use. During Covid, the use of cell phones and children under five exploded with over 60% of children having a cell phone in hand for more than 3 hours per day.
The moral of the story is we may all need a little Digital Detox to see what may be right under our noses. Making new friends and lovers in “real-time” seems so old fashioned and scary, but in the end, it is so much more rewarding.
Source: PsychCentral, eater.com, Everyday Health